Giving it a try…..

In the spirit of trying to get back into blogging, I’m gonna try my best to participate in NaBloPoMo.

Before we get too far removed from Halloween, I thought I would share this as my first post.  Someone I know (she’s the older sister of one of my friends growing up) shared on Facebook her “Official Rules of Halloween.”  I love her snarky, sarcastic humor.  So, I’m going to share her list…..give my thoughts on it…..and then possibly share a few of my own.

The Official Rules of Halloween by Tiffany
1.) If you can drive, you have no reason to trick-or treat for yourself.  Drive yourself to the store and buy your own candy.
I can’t believe that this even needs to be said.  I know for a fact that I didn’t trick-or-treat beyond elementary school.  Even then, I don’t know that I went out my last year of elementary school (5th grade).  If you’re still trying to trick-or-treat at 16, then our society has more problems than I thought.  And, while we’re on the subject of inappropriate ages for trick-or-treating, can we mention the babies?  I’m not knocking a parent’s right to celebrate their kids first Halloween.  Dress them up in whatever crazy costume they make to torture babies with and show them off to friends and family.  But don’t carry your 3 month old door-to-door to trick-or-treat.  We know that the baby is not the one who is going to be eating the fun sized candy bars… keep moving.
2.) No costume = no candy. If you’re not going to put forth any effort, why should I?
3.) If you think a ski mask is a Halloween costume, you are as delusional as those who think it is ok to buy thongs or tube tops from Lane Bryant.  If you show up at my house wearing a ski mask, I’m calling the cops.
I agree and disagree with this at the same time.  If you’re 5 and under….it’s possible that you’re still cute enough to slide by on this rule.  The older you get, the less likely I am to give you a ‘treat’ for such a minimal effort.
4.) Don’t go ask strangers for candy.  If you trust some random person won’t poison you, then you deserve what you get.
This is definitely something that has come on in recent years.  When I was a kid, yes…we went to every house in the neighborhood and got candy.  The difference?  Back then, we actually KNEW all of our neighbors.  The trend I’ve noticed in the last few years is parents taking their kids to neighborhoods that they don’t live in and just drop their kids off to go trick-or-treating.  This is slightly sketch to me, but to each his own.
5.) If the porch light is off, keep moving.  If you see somebody turn on their light simply to carry in groceries or small children, that is not an invitation to bombard them (also see #4 regarding asking strangers for candy).
I love how the porch light is the national sign of ‘come get candy here.’  My poor dog had to go out to use the bathroom last night in the dark because I was worried that somebody would think I was handing out candy.
6.) Wear weather appropriate clothing.  I will call DSS if I see any barefoot children without coats.  Yes, I will follow you to your car and get your tag.
The coats can be optional…..the bare feet are a bit excessive.  It is almost November, after all.
7.). Don’t dress young children like whores.  Seriously.
I consider this one of my standing rules for life, not just for Halloween.
8.). Walk facing traffic and stay out of the road.  You will get run over. If you do, I will take pictures of your mangled body and post it with this list next year.
I believe hyperbole is being used here to help punch the point across…..I would say, ‘Stay out of the road and carry a flashlight.’
9.) If you are drunk, your ass needs to stay home, off the road, and not anywhere near children.
Once again, a rule for life.
10.) Say thank you. Don’t spit on someone’s porch. Don’t walk through flower beds. Use sidewalks and driveways.  Watch your language when you are out in public, especially around children.  How about a little tact and basic manners.  I will call you out, I mean out loud for Jesus and all his friends to hear, to let you know you are acting like trash.  Clearly you need to be told.
Happy Halloween!

I think she summed it up nicely.  Most of the things in life have a ‘teachable moment’ in them and so I hope parents of the world are still teaching their kids to use their manners.  Hopefully Halloween isn’t just one more way of teaching kids to beg for something and then not be appreciative when they get what they ask for because I see enough of that in the youth of today as it is.

5 thoughts on “Giving it a try…..

  1. LOL! Accurate. I’m glad I found this through Yeah Write’s NaBloPoMo! I look forward to clicking around and getting to know this blog better.

    In the nicest way possible I’d like to offer a constructive criticism: Big blocks of text can be a bit challenging to read especially when you’ve been doing a lot of reading on the internet. Perhaps you could add bigger paragraph breaks to allow the eye to follow post more easily? Not a big deal at all. Just thought I’d mention it.

    • Don’t worry….I hate big blocks too. When I typed it, there was lots of space and then when it posted *boom* no space. I’m guessing it’s because I copied and pasted the original rule list and then that somehow messed it all up. I don’t have internet at my house and can only get online if I’m at work or my parents’ house, so right now I’m struggling to get anything posted, much less re-typing an entire post to fix the spacing. :/

  2. Funny Halloween rant, especially the part about hauling the infant about trolling for Snickers. Your friend is dead on.

    I am making the rounds leaving comments on the blogs of my rowmates on the NaBloPoMo grid. We need a Row #7 slogan or cheer.

    Thanks for making your way back to yeah write. We hope you’ll stick around past November!

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